Be confident in who you are…

Source: Etsy Artist paulineleger

Oh if only it were as easy as saying “Be confident” and having it happen.

Tomorrow is kind of a big deal around these parts and I’m trying very hard to not freak myself out. It’s interview day. I’ve not spoken too much about it because I’m the kind of person that likes to keep some things on the quiet side so as not to bring too much attention to myself. This is one of those times. I’ve been in Halifax close to a year now. Hard to believe this time next week (but last year) everything Meegan and I had planned for a “smooth” transition from Washington State to Nova Scotia would come to screeching halt and I’d be hopping planes for 24 hours to get here as soon as humanly possible.

It’s been a year and that means a year of not working. Not because I don’t want too but because legally I couldn’t. I’ve spent a lot of time having to learn the value of myself because I couldn’t rely on my ability to work to define who I was.

I had to learn that my ability to take care of Meegan by keeping the house organized, cooking healthy meals and spending a lot of time training for races that not only occupied my time but also occupied my heart as I chased after medals I never thought possible, was as valid as if I had been going to a 9 to 5 job and earning a paycheck.

I’ve been asked to interview for an interpreting job at one of the universities and it’s as if the job was written for me. The university knows that I’m not employable at the moment and if they want me they can help me get a work visa (and probably expedite the process).

Now that I’ve spent the last year being comfortable as a “Stay at home Tara”, I’m nervous about getting back into the work force. I’m already wondering about how I’m going to cook meals, keep the house clean, spend time with Meegan, work out and train for races/triathlon.

Most importantly can I be confident in my skills as I try to reenter the work force?

I’m not really sure where this post is going or what message I’m trying to convey. I feel guilty because we had to spend extra money on new clothes (but man do I look sharp). I’m scared that I’m going to walk in to the interview and they’ll decide I’m not a good match for what their looking for. I’m scared that I’ll be exactly what they’re looking for and before I know it I’ll be back to earning a paycheck.

So tomorrow is the big day. Clothes are pressed and ready like it’s the first day of school. I’ve got a fresh new haircut and I’m splurging by opening up a new pair of contacts. I’m not going in with any expectations. I’m just going in with the confidence that I’m good at what I do (both at home and at work) and that the universe (or baby jesus, or a beautiful unicorn) is providing me the right opportunity at the perfect time.

Happy Halloween Everyone.