Today is my birthday.
This is a picture of me last December.
I had just turned 40.
I weighed at least 265 pounds.
Funny how when I look at this picture now all I can think is “This girl has no idea what’s coming…” I mean seriously, she has no idea how much her life is going to change in the next 12 months. She has no idea that in just a few short days from when this picture is taken she’s going to have one fleeting thought that will change her life forever:
“I wonder what the calorie count in Pho is?”
She has no idea that from Googling the calorie count of her favorite Friday afternoon lunch she’s going to make a small decision that is going to plant a seed that will grow and root inside of her heart, her body and her spirit:
“I’m going to take the stairs from now on”
She has no idea, she’s going to lose a little weight and then do something amazing: She’s going to start running. She has no idea how hard those first weeks of c25k are going to be and how embarrassed she’s going to feel running up and down the water front wondering if the entire world is laughing at her. She also has no idea how awesome she’s going to feel the first time she straps on a race number and walks her first half marathon in May and then follows that up with running her first 5k at the end of that month.
She has no idea how many tears she’s going to cry or how she’s going to be afraid of believing in herself. She has no idea the countless hours she’ll spend looking in the mirror wondering who is the person emerging before her very eyes. She has no idea the blog posts that she’ll write that will move her from her past to finally looking forward into the future that is nothing but shining with possibilities. She has no idea of the people…oh the people that are going to come into her life and shape her, change her, motivate her and love her beyond anything she’s ever imagined.
She has no idea.
She has no idea that she will come to love moving so much, she’s going to complete 10 races before the end of the 2010. Some of them will be double digit. Some of them will be really fast. Some of them will include swimming, biking and running. Some will be in costume. Some of them will come with medals. All of them will come with a sense of accomplishment as she crosses over each finish line and wonders “what can I do next”. She has no idea that the body she’s carrying in that picture will begin to change shape, grow muscles and get down 166 pounds on her 41st birthday.
She has no idea how hard this journey is going to be and how much she’s going to learn about herself. She has no idea that she’s going to learn to stay in the moment and understand that the past is the past and there is nothing she can do to change what happened but that she is going to change what will happen and she is going to change it in a big way.
She has no idea that the birthday wish she had on the day that picture was taken was about to be laid out before her and by the time her 41st birthday comes around…
12/07/2010
I’ll be waiting for her.
Chills Sister.
I love this post.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Carla
I’m left with no words, just tears.
You are amazing, Tara.
Happy Birthday! <3
I feel so honored to have been able to watch your metamorphosis. What I like best is the potential for the future written all over the face of Tara 41.0. Here’s to one more costumed run before the year is up!
Mmm. pho. Must find good vegetarian recipe asap.
Happy Birthday, my friend.
(Pssst, you hit your goal weight on my birthday. :))
Happy Birthday Tara!
Wonderful post, I’m crying for your joy (and maybe a bit for what I still need to overcome).
You’ve come a long way–happy happy 41st!
This literally brought tears to my eyes. Your writing moves me. Now I will move myself.
Been following you for a while now…almost the full year, I think. You should be so proud of what you have accomplished. Not just losing weight, but becoming healthier in your heart, mind AND body. Yours is a beautiful story. Congratulations and Happy Fabulous 41st birthday!!
You inspire me.
Dude, you gave me the shivers. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I’m so proud of you, and so glad you were able to give 40 (and 41!) year old Tara the birthday gift of her dreams.
You brought tears to my eyes! I could feel and relate to every emotion you mentioned through your words. I’ll never say it enough: you’re a great inspiration!
Happy Birthday <3
Zineb.
What an fantastically awesome job you’ve done – and thank you for sharing it with us. (Happy Birthday – I turn 41 next Thursday)
Well first of all, happy birthday! And secondly, you are awesome.
Simply amazing.
You give me hope that I can write a post like this in the future.
Oh, and happy, happy, happy birthday! May 2011 bring you even more events, feelings, and surprises that you have no idea about.
You made me cry at work – this was so inspiring.
Hope you have a wonderful birthday!
Tara, I am in tears. Happy Birthday my friend. You are such an inspiration for all of us who are still a bit afraid to believe in themselves.
I am beyond inspired!! And it makes me wonder just what the 41-year-old you has no idea about 🙂
Happiest of birthdays dear Tara!
happy birthday!
what a beautiful post.
really inspires me to be hopeful as my own birthday is coming up and i make my own wish…
Wow you look …and im sure feel amazing! WTG Happy Birthday to you!
M
“She has no idea”
How amazing!!! What a difference a year makes.
Fantastic, simply wonderful. Tears.
Thank you.
Tara: Words cant even describe how happy I am for you. You have overcome so much and are amazing. You are da bomb girl. Love u and have never met you. I would love to meet you some day though. I am working on the new me…someday, I just have to believe.
I’d say that’s one hell of a birthday present. Happy Birthday mama, you are awesome.
Not just happy birthday…….But awesomely deserved BIRTH-day…..
Tara! Happy Rest of your life!
Tara, this has simply been an awesome year for you. I am so proud of everything that you’ve accomplished, and all the demons that you’ve slayed. You are a constant source of inspiration, and I can’t wait to see what the next year has in store for you!
I dig everything you do. Happy late birthday.
What a beautiful post!
Oh wow. Best birthday post ever.
Happy birthday beautiful.
hand claps galore!!! bravo, girl. this makes me smile big. 🙂
((Marching in Birthday Parade))
Look at you being all healthy and skinny and shit. 😉
Happy birthday. Congrats on being beautiful at all sizes. Here’s to authenticity, grace, and joy. Cheers!
– Kirsten
@RNTgirl
http://Results-Not-Typical-Girl.com
Happy Birthday! Your story is amazing. I agree with MrsFatass up there… Best Birthday post I think I have ever read!
You’re something amazing Tara.
Seriously.
I heart you!
[…] year, you’ve ended some relationships, started some awe inspiring relationships. You made a birthday wish come true and set up some serious goals for the next coming year. The one important thing you learned while […]