…Some days are harder to get through than others.
…I still see a 263 pound person in the mirror.
…I was so mad at myself for sleeping in until 7 this morning, after working 15 hours yesterday.
…I don’t ease up on myself.
… I don’t pat myself on the back more.
…I set myself up for failure before I even try.
…Being better than everyone is more important to me than just being me.
…I don’t see myself the way my husband sees me.
…After the 30 pounds lost, c25k graduation and 3 months of hard work, I feel like I haven’t accomplished anything.
…I would never allow a friend or family member to downplay what they’ve done and yet I allow myself to go down this road so often.
So hard on myself. I know this is not the way I will feel tomorrow or maybe even later today once I get home and settle into my long awaited, much needed weekend. The snowball effect of my frustration at allowing myself to sleep in until 7am this morning has turned into a blizzard.
Someone get me some snow shoes cause I can’t stay here for long….
It’s because we are perfectionists.
I say to myself, “I will feel bad about myself tomorrow.”
Then I move on.
Downplaying our accomplishments can be as bad as resting on our laurels. Either one can be death to progress.
Look at what you’ve done, feel proud, then move on.
Your doing great.
THIS rings so true to me: “I would never allow a friend or family member to downplay what they’ve done and yet I allow myself to go down this road so often.”
I want to say it’s perfectionism, or the inability to cheer on myself the way I can cheer on others. Some days, though, I think it’s the fact that I believe my loved ones can do anything, and I lack the same belief in myself.
Sheesh, you’ve pulled out all the negative today! LOL I can relate. Sometimes I feel the same way about myself. (Especially the one about my husband, I can really relate to that.) But seriously, it sounds like you are way, way too hard on yourself. I don’t know why or how to fix that – since again, I have the same problem – but I am hoping time fixes it in my case.
I know exactly what you’re talking about. I think we all have these moments of perfectionism and frustration with ourselves. The major trick is to make them “moments” and not let them take over an hour or a day, or worse – even longer. Its really hard to do, but I’ve done some serious work in Cognitive Based Therapy to make some headway in this regard. I use little tricks with myself.
i.e.: “I still the fat girl in the mirror” which I flip into, “ok, but all of the evidence tells me she’s WAY less fat, smaller in inches, weighing less, moving more, doing the things I should be doing. Its good and I’m moving on”. If you can flip each of the negative clouds into something “rational” or even *gasp* positive, you’ll be amazed over time how it works. It feels like a trick, and that its stupid at first. But it definitely makes a difference in the long run.
Sorry for the long comment – but I feel your pain! Be proud of your accomplishments, you’re an amazing inspiration!
A man very much in love once said “she look in the mirror, she don’t see what I see, she holds no history of how precious she be” . You can’t ever see yourself how others look at you, but you can (learn to) trust them when they tell you how much they love and appreciate what they see in you.
There are two songs in particular that always help me snap out of a self loathing mood:
Forest Whitaker- Brother Ali
Modern Man’s Hustle- Atmosphere
I don’t know how you feel about hip hop, but give them a listen. 🙂