Motivation..or lack thereof

I’ve been perusing blogs pretty much all day while at work. I’ve noticed a “theme” if you would. It seems many people have lost their motivation to continue their journey towards healthy living (whatever definition that holds for each individual).

As this is really my first attempt at changing a lifestyle and not just relying on whatever weight loss fad is out there (including but not limited too Atkins, Weight loss pills, purging, pre-bariatric surgery restrictions) I’m wondering if this is pretty common when you start out on this long journey?

Is it the 8 week blues?

It is the New Year’s resolution dissolution?

Granted I’ve had a few minor emotional setbacks. Emotional setbacks due to being angry with myself for getting to this weight, frustrated because I couldn’t run 60 seconds without stopping, or just plain old “holy hell, I’m cranky today”. I’m still moving everyday and in that see the emotional setbacks getting fewer and farther in between.

Today I don’t lack in motivation.

Today.

But what about tomorrow? Or 3 weeks from now? I turn to those who have had substantial weight loss (50+ pounds) and wonder what they did to keep motivated? What did they do when they weren’t feeling motivated? Did they persevere? Did they hang their heads and wonder if this was going to be another unsuccessful try? Did they look in the mirror and point a finger at the person staring back and firmly say “You will lose this weight. You will get healthy. You will not give up”

Did they cry one night in a bowl of ice-cream and then get up the next morning and climb 100 stairs? Was is one conscious decision after another until habits formed?

I am surrounded by people just starting out on this journey. Maybe to them it isn’t a journey? Maybe it’s just a passing thought. For me this is a journey. I do not want to be 100 pounds overweight any longer. Period. I do not want to wear a size 24 pants. I do not want to be winded after climbing a set of stairs. I do not want to be ashamed of who I have become physically at the age of 40. I see other newly commitment people dropping like flies (and by dropping I mean, not posting on their blogs or over at calorieking) and I fear I will be one of them eventually.

Tell me what motivates you and how did you get over those motivational hurdles? Tell me what to look out for so that I can be prepared if I see that hurdle up ahead. Share your wisdom with me. I want to cross that threshold of being high numbered weight loss success story.

Help me write a chapter!

Spicy Thai Noodle Salad

A friend over at CalorieKing posted this on forum last week. I just made/ate it and it was delish! I prepared it in it’s most simplest form so things can be added to it each time consumed. I also left out the sugar/salt/ sarachi. It yields a ton of food so good for making lunches for the week or quick dinners if out of time or ideas.

This is meant as a cold dish but I’m sure would be just as tasty hot.

The Goods

1 pack whole wheat spaghetti

The Sauce:

1/3 cup natural peanut butter
1/4 cup water
2 tbsp low sodium soy sauce
1 1/2 tbsp rice vinegar
1 tsp sarachi (thai hot sauce) or how much you can tolerate (this is optional as well if you don’t like spicy)
1/4 tsp sugar (optional)
1/4 tsp salt (optional)

Cook the noodles (The easy part of the recipe!)

Run noodles under cold water and then toss with sauce!

Nutritional Info (without sugar/salt)

Serving size – 5oz (you will get about 8 servings out of this recipe)

173 calories; 4g fat; .4g sat fat, 172mg sodium; 35g carbs; 5g fiber; .4g sugar; 7g protein

Want to add to the dish? Try shrimp, broccoli, carrots, bean sprouts, peppers, scallions…or whatever else you can think of!

Enjoy!

Weigh in Week #9

First let me start this post by admitting my tyrant about my eating episode was a little on the childish side. Yes I know eating 500 calories over your daily intake won’t go straight to my thighs and yes I know that weight fluxuates from day to day. However, I was having an emotional outburst and have since come to my senses. Somedays are so much more difficult to get through than others. Thursday just happened to be that “kind of day”. I didn’t starve myself the next day or give up and eat other high caloric foods. I didn’t skip getting exercise or over exercise. I vented…

And moved on.

Which brings me today. This is week #9 and I am extremely satisfied with the results. First the picture (since that’s the proof!):

Here are my stats since December 29th, 2009:

So here’s what the weekly breakdown has looked like

Week 1 = 257.4 (-6.1)
Week 2 = 255.0 (-2.4)
Week 3 = 254.6 (-.4)
Week 4 = 253.8 (-.8) *I started c25k
Week 5 = 248.2 (-5.6)
Week 6 = 247.2 (-1.0)
Week 7 = 246.2 (-1.0)
Week 8 = 244.4 (-1.8)
Week 9 = 241.0 (-3.4)

That’s brings my total loss up to -22.5 lbs.

This brings me closer to my intermediate goal of 240. As a reward for reaching 240 I will be buying a new pair of pants and donating my size 24 to our local Goodwill. As a reward for this weeks loss I bought 5 bunches of daffodils that will bloom all week and remind me of the good I am doing for my body.

What’s your reward?

Some days…

Now that that is out of the way…

Oh wait it’s not.

I am in a piss foul mood right now.

Serious.

Super Serious.

Here are a few of the reasons why that I’ve been able to pin point (this of course if more for my benefit than anyone that might lay eyes on this as I’m sure not too many people want to read a fat girls antics when she’s in a foul mood)

Reason number one: I made a bad choice in food last night. Not bad bad bad but definitely bad. I went to Buca Di Beppo in Seattle. I should have opted to go somewhere else with healthier options but that is neither here nor there. I talked myself into going and talked myself into eating. I didn’t gorge myself to the point of being sick but I did eat past the point that I should have stopped. It was not a planned meal so I didn’t plan accordingly with my food through out the day. Lesson learned. No more impromptu dinners out without first planning.
Reason Number two: Yesterday I got on the scale and it read 240. Today is read 242. I’m not complaining. It’s still a -2.0 loss since my last weigh in on Saturday. I was just so happy to see that number and then to see such an increase in less than 24 hours. I blame reason #1.
Reason Number three: I want some fucking ice-cream. I also want a large pepperoni pizza, a cheeseburger from Carl’s Jr and just about anything else I can shove into my pie hole. Again, I blame reason #1
Reason Number four: Someone brought donuts into work today. Chocolate, Maple, Sprinkles and jelly-filled. I want to choke them. I want to take the donuts and scream “Do you hate me?”. I seriously think sweets of any kind should be banned from our work. We sit all day and process calls. No moving. No physical activity. Most of us are overweight. Out of kind gestures we have donuts, oreos, doritos, m&ms, and a drawer full of chocolate. We do have healthy options (fruit and veggie) but they run out so quick that I resort to bringing my own food. As a whole I just wish we could see how bad those sweets are when we’re sitting around for hours at a time.
Reason Number Five: Whoa is that a Freudian slip that my reason number 5 is because of the c25k week number 5 is looming on the horizon. I’m scared. I’m not going to lie. I’m pretty freaked out by what c25k thinks I’m supposed to be doing next week. 8 minutes? Twice and then the final day 20 minutes???? WTH? It’s almost incomprehensible and my brain is already trying to back track its way out of even trying. I barely have the five minutes down and already you want me to increase it by 15 minutes!!!
Reason Number 6: My shins hurt. I’ve been reading about it and trying to figure out what to do with them (ice, rest, ibuprophen) but the fact remains, they hurt and it is disappointing me.

/end reasons.

The truth of the matter is today I’m frustrated with being fat. I know this may not be the way I feel tomorrow as I’m walking the dogs and taking a break from running. I’ll probably feel pretty good while I’m walking up the stairs at my college job thinking about how I haven’t taken an elevator in over 2 months. I’ll probably feel on top of everything as I’m eating my big tupperware full of fruits and veggies while working but I can’t ignore my frustrations.

Frustrations are a great way to bust through a particularly hard moment in one’s life. I’m frustrated at being fat and the food choices I made last night so I will take that frustration and push forward. Tomorrow I will walk my dogs a little farther (they’d like it if I walked them for 48 hours straight so no complaint will come from them). On Saturday I’m going to be making a nice cold thai salad that a friend from CalorieKing posted that is low in calories but high in taste. Sunday I will take a deep breath and give it all I’ve got bright and early on the waterfront while I attempt to run for 8 minutes!

I’ve been finding solace in reading other blogs and seeing both success stories and stories that are not so successful. They all give me the wisdom I need to push past this frustration. Thanks to everyone out there for doing what you’re doing.

What are your frustrations?

Do.Not.Give.Up

I seriously need someone running next to me that can scream this in my ear. Or I need this cool shirt:

If anyone has one laying around (I can now wear an xl comfortably), I’ll gladly take it off your hands.

Seriously!

Today’s run is definitely ranked up there with the hardest so far. It seems the middle run is always a push for me. The first run of the week has enough sleep and excitement (with some curiosity) built in that I can almost always get through it without much difficulty. The last run of the week, while lacking in the sleep department, has enough excitement build in (last run before moving on, mini graduation feeling) that it rarely poses a problem.

The middle run is a different story.

Today was even more difficult because I had the hardest time getting to sleep. When one is so close to finishing a book it’s pretty much a assumption that your brain will fail to get sleepy when necessary. I didn’t catch the zzzzz train until close to 12:45am and with a wake up call at 6:45am that makes for a short amount of sleep.

Long day previous + short sleep cycle = “Oh come on you got to me kidding me. Can’t you just let one day go by?”.

No.

No I can’t.

This is not an option for me.

I saw the number 241 on the scale this morning. This is why I can’t quit. This is why I can’t just let one day go by. Very soon the scale will say 240 and then it’s just a matter of time before 239 is singing it’s sweet glory to me.

I had to talk my way through about 90% of the run today. Out loud, I don’t care who can hear me, pep talk. I actually stopped once during my second 5 minute run and took a few walking steps but then got right back into getting my thoughts cleared up and getting back to business. I didn’t care if I had to cry, scream or laugh my way through this I was going to finish and I was not going to be walking any of the run portions.

Slow and steady. Breathe…

Shake out the hands. Breathe…

You can do this. You deserve this. Breathe…

Today’s week 4 day 2 is over but not without it’s hardships.

I am officially half way through the couch to 5k program.

Breathe…

Moraccan Chickpea Chili…

This came straight out of Clean Eating magazine. This recipe alone is enough to make me want to subscribe!

This is a quick and easy recipe. It’s a little expensive if you don’t have the spices. Luckily I live with an executive chef so no lacking in this department. I made a double batch on Saturday and it was gone by Monday.

Total prep time is about 30 minutes (longer if you make double batch!)

What you need:

The Meat

1 lb top-round buffalo steak or lean beef stew meat, cut into 1-inch cubes.

I didn’t take a picture of this to keep it “clean” for my veggie friends! Buffalo is hard to come by in my area. Only one store in my area (Fred Meyer) even carries buffalo and mostly it’s ground. They only get steaks 4 x a year and this was not one of the times so I went with a nice lean beef instead.

Vegetables

2 1/2 cups yellow onion, chopped
1 cup celery, chopped
2 cups carrots, cut into match sticks
1 cup frozen corn
2 cups tomatoes, chopped

Spices

2 tbsp garlic, minced
1 tbsp cumin, ground
2 tsp dried coriander
1 tsp ground black pepper
1/2 tsp turmeric
1/2 tsp saffron (*optional)
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
1/2 tsp paprika
1 bay leaf

The saffron is optional and if you’ve ever looked at the price of saffron you’ll probably be thankful that it is. I opted to leave this out. I’m sure you will too.

Other Stuff

3 1/2 cups cooked chickpeas
1 6oz jar tomato paste
2 lemons (optional)

How to put it all together

In a large nonstick pot, cook steak for 2 minutes over med heat. Add garlic, onion, celery, carrots, and all spices. Cook for 5 minutes. Then add chickpeas, cooking for 2 more minutes. Turn up heat to high and pour in 4 cups water, corn, tomatoes, and bay leaf. Bring to a boil and then stir in tomato paste. Reduce heat to simmer and cook uncovered for 35-45 mins. Stir occasionally, until liquid reduces and chili thickens. Squeeze juice of lemons into chili, if desired, and stir. Remove bay leaf before serving.

The Result and Nutritional Info

2 cup serving is:

397 calories

9g fat

11g fiber

29g protein.

As a side note, this is a spicy chili. Not burn your spicy mouth but body warm spicy. One serving (2 cups) is plenty filling, though I did pair it with a nice mushroom/arugula salad with 2 tbsp of mango dressing for an extra 100 calories.

Enjoy!

Weigh in #8, where I didn’t eat yesterday and 5 minutes of pure (insert word here)!

Weigh in #8

December 29th, 2009 = 263.5lbs

February 20th, 2010 = 244.4lbs

I lost 1.8lbs in the last week and a total of 19.1lbs.

Here is an interesting tidbit (and probably TMI), but this is the first time I didn’t gain any weight during my “girl time”. I am actually continuing to lose (as I saw the scale say 243 yesterday).

So here’s what the weekly breakdown has looked like

Week 1 = 257.4 (-6.1)
Week 2 = 255.0 (-2.4)
Week 3 = 254.6 (-.4)
Week 4 = 253.8 (-.8) *I started c25k
Week 5 = 248.2 (-5.6)
Week 6 = 247.2 (-1.0)
Week 7 = 246.2 (-1.0)
Week 8 = 244.4 (-1.8)

The numbers are slow moving but dammit if they aren’t still moving!

Where I didn’t eat yesterday

Yesterday I had to take my car in to have a tire looked at. They told me it was going to take 90 minutes. I needed to get to the UPS store and do my food shopping for my new experiment (Moroccan chickpea chili – which is the next post). It was getting late and instead of waiting around for my car to be finished and then go to the store I decided to walk the 1.5 miles, do my food shopping and then walk back to pick up car.

It was an impromptu workout that I enjoyed to it’s fullest. The walk was nice, the sun was out and it was a nice way to pass 90 minutes. I also took note of all the food places between my starting point and my ending point. Here they are for your pleasure (or nightmare):

Playplace? More like “get fat and sit around” place. It was so busy there. So many other places to be and for most people this was going to be the high light of their day.

If there is a Shari’s around you know there is a Denny’s close by. After you eat your eggs, potatoes, ham and pancakes you can pick up a whole pie to enjoy!

Or you can go here and get a “Gotta Have It” size ice cream that is sure to cause you to go comatose.

So wrong on so many levels.

Hamburgers or Chicken? Hell why not both!

If having these 5 options wasn’t enough in less than a mile there was a Dairy Queen on the other side of the street, but I hit the UPS store at this point so had to deter from my mobile phone photography session and get back to what I was doing.

What was I doing? Oh right, I was going to the store to get the makins for my first “Clean Eating” recipe attempt. I made Moroccan chickpea chili. Instead of eating at the places above I ate this:

I’ll take two cups of this delicious masterpiece (397 calories, Fat 9g, Carbs 51g, Fiber 11g, Sugars 12g, Protein 29g, Sodium 267 mg, Cholesterol 43mg) over a Big Mac (540 calories, Fat 29g, Carbs 45g, Fiber 3g, Sugar 9g, Protein 25g, Sodium 1040mg, Cholesterol 75mg)

5 minutes of pure (insert word here)

Let’s start off with a picture:

That’s not a high five I’m giving you (though if I could I would). That’s me saying “I JUST RAN FOR 5 MINUTES”

Today was week #4 of c25k.

It went something like this…

* 5 minute warm up – Got that down like a pro.

*3 minute run – I had done this 6 times last week so I was confident this was going to go fine. This came and went faster than I had anticipated the first time around.

*90 second walk – again pro like!

*5 minute run – So here we go…I kept it real slow. 3 minutes I knew I could do. 5 minutes I just don’t know. I did the same thing as I did during my first 3 minute attempt and picked a spot way in the distant and focused. I kept the music down low so that I could hear the water, the seagulls and the trains and still hear when Robert (podcast man) so mercifully tells me it’s over. I try and keep my mind clear of any thoughts about what is happening to my body (cause it has a way of trying to cheat me out of doing something) and keep my breathing slow and monitored. 5 minutes later, Robert’s voice tells me it’s time to walk and for the first time in my life I have just run for 5 minutes. I cry (as I seen to be doing this a lot during this program) but don’t feel bad about it. The first time I cried (during week 1) it was because I hated being fat. This morning I cried because I didn’t give up.

*2.5 minutes walk – someone should give me a medal for my pro like walking!

*3 minute run – Now this is starting to feel easy. I just ran 5 minutes!!

*90 second walk – no need to explain.

*5 minute run – Slow and steady. Breathing in, breathing out. Tired = yes. Giving up = no. I’m not running very fast but I’m still running. The sun is rising. The mountains look beautiful. This 5 minutes is about making good choices. It’s about leaving behind the old Tara and finding the girl I’m supposed to be. It’s about moving more and eating less. The last minute is tough. I feel myself slowing way down. I give myself a little pep talk (“Run like you know what your doing or at least fake it for the last minute”) and keep going.

It’s over.

To celebrate, I walked my dogs for an hour!

As a reward for my hard work, the scale decided to say 242 for the first time in FOREVER! But I’m not counting that number just yet…

Fri 1st Jan, 10	263.2 lbs	38.9	–	–	–	–	YES	MEDIUM
	Tue 5th Jan, 10	257.4 lbs	38	–	–	–	–	YES	HIGH
	Tue 12th Jan, 10	255 lbs	37.7	–	–	–	–	YES	MEDIUM
	Sun 17th Jan, 10	254.6 lbs	37.6	–	–	–	–	YES	MEDIUM
	Mon 25th Jan, 10	253.8 lbs	37.5	–	–	–	–	YES	MEDIUM
	Mon 1st Feb, 10	248.2 lbs	36.6	–	–	–	–	YES	MEDIUM
	Sat 6th Feb, 10	247.2 lbs	36.5	–	–	–	–	YES	MEDIUM
	Sat 13th Feb, 10	246.2 lbs	36.4	–	–	–	–	YES	MEDIUM
	Sat 20th Feb, 10	244.4 lbs	36.1	–	–	–	–	YES	MEDIUM

c25k Week three complete, weigh in anticipations and the person in the mirror irritates me.

c25k Week Three

Is complete but not without it’s frustrations. I’ve been pretty strict about my running days (Sun, Tues, Thurs) since starting this program a month ago (holy hell a month already!!!!). This week was the first week I had a schedule snafu (totally my fault) and it really threw me for a loop. I accidentally scheduled myself for a dental appointment this morning at the buttcrack time of 8:00am. This put me in a bind. In order to get the run and dentist accomplished I would need to be where I needed to be by 7am.

My first thought was to move the dentist appointment = Nothing available until March 4th. That’s a no go. Then I thought about moving my run day. Also not an option because then I got all angst about missing my regular day, which turned into a “maybe I should shift my running days all together” which inevitably turned into a “Oh Tara, you’ll never run again and gain all your fat back (especially your back fat)” conversation.

Okay so moving the appt was out and moving my run day was out. That left moving the location so that I would be in a midway point between run and office for easy transition. Waterfront = out. Track = in. All of this decision making took place for almost 4 days before today. I angst…A LOT.

No pretty water to look at but I did discover something pretty spectacular today. I can now run one track length without stopping. That’s 400 meters! To calculate that in terms of what I can understand if I am doing two 3 minute intervals + two 1.5 minute intervals I am running the equivalent of … wait for it: 3/4 of a mile.

3/4 OF A FREAKIN MILE!!!

Now before you all run out and by some pom poms for cheering me, it is with my walking in between but come on people, that’s pretty cool considering a month ago I couldn’t run even 100 meters (or 1/4 of the track length) without stopping and practically spitting up a lung.

So there you have it folks. Fat girl is running faster and longer. Now that this whole dental / schedule snafu is out of the way I can get back to focusing on week 4 which is due to begin on Sunday. It’s quite a jump in length for running. Two intervals of 3 minutes and two intervals of 5 minutes…5 MINUTES! Again, I will give it my all on Sunday. If it is just too much of a push then I’ll repeat week 3.

Imagine me running for 5 minutes.

Weigh in anticipations.

Tomorrow will be week #8 for weigh in. Two months I’ve been on this journey. It feels like forever. If feels like just yesterday. I’m weighing myself everyday and I like the numbers that I see. I mentioned in an earlier post I think I’m going to hit the 20 pound milestone in the morning. I got some good numbers today and barring any wicked ideas of eating a gallon of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream (followed by a coma induced trip to the dollar menu at jack in the box), I think I’m gonna have some good numbers tomorrow (fingers crossed).

The person in the mirror irritates me.

Seriously! I wish I could just turn her off for a bit. I can step on the scale and see the positive changes. I can put on my clothes and feel the difference . I feel better. I’m sleeping better. My overall mood is good. But I’ll be damn if that person in the mirror isn’t trying her best to bring me down. There is no way I could do this if I wasn’t also in some form of cognitive therapy.

It’s so frustrating. Everyone around me is complimenting me, congratulating me, motivating me and being motivated in return. Yet, there she is lurking in those damn mirrors. Waiting for me to catch a glimpse of myself. Waiting to shut me down. Oh I see her and I try to prepare myself. I point my finger at her and sternly think “oh no you don’t”, but in the end she does.

Losing the weight is the easy part. Losing the girl in the mirror…now that’s the real work. I want to be a 100+ pound loser. I want to have those fantastic side by side shots. One being 263 the other 163. I want to have those awesome pictures where you see the person eating a big old piece of cake and then the same person running a marathon. I want to put my fat pants on with both my legs in one pant leg. I want to be that person that people look at and go “her, really 263 pounds??? no way”. In order to do that the girl in the mirror must vacate.

I love her though. She has been with me since before I can remember. Telling me how she’s my only friend. She’s the only one that truly understands what it’s like to be fat. She’s the only one that understands what it was like during bouts of bulimia. She took those diet pills with me religiously and told me this is the way to lose the weight, knowing full well this was not the way it was going to happen. She was the one that repeatedly told me to just give up cause this is never going to work. It didn’t need to work because we were going to be together forever…just her and I.

I really need to work on that “vacate the premises” paperwork.

Do you have someone in the mirror?

new muscles, hey you look different and the lady at the park.

New Muscles:

Here are some muscles I’ve recently discovered on my body:

The first being the Rectus Femoris. I noticed it yesterday while I was walking my dogs. I put my hands on upper portion of my thigh and BAM there is was working away. The second muscle is the Latissimus Dorsi. This happy little discovery was this morning while I was doing the 3 minute walking portion of the c25k (week three day two). I put my hands on my upper back and lo and behold there were my two new friends letting me know that they were getting bigger, stronger and happy to be making an appearance. I am now starting to notice physical changes happening to my body. My back is definately smaller. Face thinner and I’m pretty sure my belly is shrinking at least a tiny bit. I took a side shot (naked) of myself back in Late December and then retook the same pose today. There is a difference that even I can’t deny:

December 29th, 2009

February 16th, 2010

So there you have it folks…my belly in all it’s glory. It may not look like much something is better than nothing!.The changes are coming and after all this hard work it’s nice to finally notice them.

The lady in the park:

My run wasn’t as enjoyable as I had hoped for. Each 3 minute run I was pretty damn tempted to give up and walk. I didn’t. I wanted too. Oh man how I wanted too. It felt like 3 minutes was taking forever. I pretty sure I swore at my podcast for secretly forcing me to run longer than 3 minutes (I feel a conspiracy theory in the making). In the end I did finish without stopping. I was feeling a little disappointed at how difficult this particular run turned out. As I was doing the 5 minute cool down I saw an elderly woman walking her two dogs. She stopped me and in the sweetest grandmotherly voice warned me about the dog poop that was on the sidewalk up ahead (I of course had taken notice the first time around). She asked me why someone wouldn’t clean up after their dog, to which I had no answer. She then said (not to me but to non poop picker upper) “This is your park. You should take care of it. If you don’t it won’t be here anymore”…

As we part ways I start thinking about what she said.

I was frustrated at the way my body was reacting to having to work hard just to run 3 minutes. But in reality I hadn’t been taking care of my “park” very well over the last 30 years. I let it go just thinking that it would take care of itself. You can’t imagine a beautiful garden and then assume it will magically grow on it’s own without putting work into. I can’t just close my eyes, think about a 5k and then get up and do it. It’s a physical impossibility right now (unless a bear was chasing me but I’m pretty sure the bear would win). What I can do today is run 3 minutes. It’s more than I was doing just 7 short weeks ago. 7 weeks from now I might be getting ready to pick a 5k (but please don’t hold me to that just yet).

7 weeks ago I closed my eyes and began to imagine what my park might look like and today this is what I did to get closer to that reality:

Completed week three day two of c25k (22 minutes)
Walked the dogs (30 minutes)
Ate a good breakfast
Walked up a total of 6 flights of stairs
Walked on my lunch break
Bought the latest issue of “Clean Eating”
Consuming water
Blogged about all of the above.

What are you doing to take care of your park today?

3 minute run and hello 244!

3 minute run

Today was week 3 day 1 of c25k. I’m not going to lie. I was pretty freaked out when I woke up this morning. I had picked my place to run: Ruston Way. I picked an early time of 7am. The city in which I live (Tacoma WA) rarely wakes up before 9 on Sundays so I thought it would be a fairly deserted place. I needed something other than the track at the college and the geese that inhabit it to look at. I picked the waterfront for it’s calming effect. I got up earlier than anticipated (running anxiety) and tried to put it off as long as I could (hello facebook). Finally at 6:25a I posted on my FB that I would be on the waterfront in 30 minutes. Nothing like making a statement to the world (or at least my 183 friends) to motivate you into moving. No going back to for me. I was right about the calming effect of the water. I was wrong about it being deserted. At some point in this journey I was going to have to face my fear of being seen trying to run and just let people see me. Today would be that point. Here’s the jist of what happened:

Five minute warm up – goes well. I walk like a pro!
90 second run – I know I can do this so no problem there.
90 second walk – see above
3 minute run – I pick a point way off in the distance and go for it. “I will not die from running 3 minutes” is my mantra. Other runners go by (much more professional looking that I could hope for) and they give me the “runner’s” wave. They don’t point and laugh. They don’t stop me and say “hey maybe you should just go home”. They smile. Maybe they remember what it was like to be where I was. Maybe they too used to be 100+ pounds overweight. They include me on this Sunday morning and before I know it Robert Ullrey (podcast) is telling me the first 3 minutes are over. It’s over. I did it. For the first time in my life (at least the last 30 years) I run longer than I ever have. What I thought for sure was impossible was possible. I just ran 3 minutes.
3 minute walk – I look behind me and I’m surprised how far I went. I wonder if maybe I should turn around and do the second half of this on the way back. I decide no. I keep going in the direction that I’m heading. Taking me farther away from my car and that much more work to get back once I’m done.
3 minute run – The first one down left me feeling elated. Doing the second round was a little harder. I’m tired (but not too tired). I’m sweaty (but not too sweaty). Again I pick a point and go. 3 minutes later I’ve finished Week 3 day 1.

Now the long walk back. A walk of triumph. Just to prove to myself that I did in fact run, I run a little more. Not too much. Just enough to remind myself of what I just did and what I can do again (on Tuesday). I get back to the car and snap a picture. Sweaty and Proud!

Hello 244!

Home all sweaty and in need of a serious shower, I undress and then think to myself “Self, I know you did your weigh in yesterday (246.2) but maybe just hop on and see what you see”. So I did just that and this is what I saw:

I don’t know the last time I saw this weight. I won’t use this as my official weigh in weight but man it felt good to see this number. If it sticks by next Saturday then I’ll have officially lost 20 lbs since December 29th. If this sticks I will have lost 1/5 of the total weight I’m shedding on this life journey. For the first time in my life I’ve lost weight just by eating less and moving more. No Atkins, No pills, no starvation, no binge / purging.

Just the purpose to change a way of life!