The post I didn’t want to write…

Sometimes you don’t want to let go…

Sometimes you want to hold onto an experience as if it will continue to exist in your everyday life because it was so monumental to who you are and and from the ashes in which you rise that writing about it seems to bring it to a final close and with that close a deep sadness settles in your heart. It wouldn’t be fair of me to keep this in. This is a post that has to be written even if I am reluctant to do so…

THIS IS RAGNAR BABY!!!!

R is for Running

187 miles to be exact! And as an Ultra team none the less. Of the 307 teams that ran this crazy ass relay race only 31 teams ran as an ultra (6 or less). The other 276 teams consisted of 12 runners. Between the 6 of us that’s a shit ton of running. My portion: 31.5 freaking miles!!! You remember who is writing this blog post right? Me! Tara Martin. The girl who 15 months ago couldn’t even run 1/2 a block without puking. The girl who on used to weigh 270 pounds and play World of Warcraft for hours and hours on end put on my pretty orange tutu and stepped up to the starting line of Ragnar in Blaine WA and embarked on a journey that very few people will ever get to experience.

 

This is my team.

These are my friends.

This is T.O.P (Team Optimus Prime) and for 32 hours, 24 minutes and 41 seconds we ran our asses off non-stop. From the time the man said go (7:30 am Friday morning) until we crossed the finish line (around 4 pm Saturday afternoon) our shoes were hitting the pavement. One after the other we ran our miles. My segments?

12.7 miles

7.9 miles

10.9 miles

The best part about T.O.P was that this wasn’t a group of runners that knew each other and had practiced together; honing our skills, practicing our sprints and planning every second of every mile. No, that wouldn’t be in true Tara fashion. The only person I really knew outside of the bloggerverse was Sharla. I knew both  Brandon (who I met once when he came down from Alaska a few weeks prior)  and Mac personally through twitter and sharing our experiences in weight loss (trust me I loved these two guys way before I actually got to wrap my arms around them). As for those poor suckers other two: Ryan and Linsday the universe sent them our way and I couldn’t have asked for a sweeter team!

A is for Attitude

We laughed.

We cheered.

We high fived.

I’ll also openly admit I cried my fair share of tears. Especially when I had to start my last leg at 4:30 Saturday after running 20 miles and only sleeping about 3 hours total. I could barely move was sore and pretty sure I couldn’t bust out another 10 miles. I also had my fair share of chest pounding gutteral screams of awesomeness when I needed an extra push to get my ass moving (a banana and an awesome sunrise helped).

The thing I appreciated most about T.O.P was every time we passed the slapper (baton) onto the next runner there was so much excitement I almost couldn’t wait to run again just to see the faces of my team mates… okay I’m lying about wanting to run again. But damn if I didn’t look forward to seeing their faces to at least let me know I was done running for the time being and to get a high five, a hug, and a reminder to get some food and to get some shut eye (yhea right). Seriously though, I saw some teams that were so uptight about the miles they were running and the times they were keeping that they seemed to forget why they were there. Unless I’m missing something. I mean I guess it’s important to run fast and to try to be the best. If you ask me (and I know you are asking) it was more important to see the smiles on my friends’ face yelling at me to keep moving than it was to hit a certain pace (which by the way we did manage a pretty kick ass 10:14 pace through out the entire 187 miles we traveled by foot). I didn’t get to be in the van much with the team (I drove the support car – Dusty, my bad ass Element) so I didn’t get to spend as much time down time with them so I don’t know what the conversations were like or how well everyone got along in a 9 passenger van full of food, sweat and the occasional gassy fart from running so much (oh come on you know that was happening) but every time they stepped out of that bad ass transformer vehicle my team looked like a force to be reckoned with.

G is for Great Times!

N is for Nature

You seriously can’t run 187 miles through the my beautiful Pacific Northwest and not see some amazing scenery. There were some parts of my run that were so difficult that if it wasn’t for what my eyes were taking it I don’t know if I could have kept my feet going. I am not lying. Look for yourself:

A is for Accomplishment

 

This is me.

I just finished my last leg of 10.9 miles.

It’s hard to see but my tutu is three colors. Actually it’s three separate tutus that Meegan had made for me. One for each of my portion of Ragnar.

(Orange Tutu) I started running Friday morning. It was 12.7 miles and labeled as hard. I don’t know how Ragnar determined their labeling system but for the first time in my running life (all 15 months) I had run a half marathon without stopping and I felt fantastic…at least for a hour or two until the soreness kicked in and then I started to panic a bit. How in the world was I supposed to run 7.9 miles ten hours later and then another 10.9 miles ten hours after that?

(White Tutu) The second leg (7.9 miles) began around 4:30 Friday afternoon and it was by far the hardest portion of my legs. Funny too because Ragnar labeled it as easy. I think it was a mental block. I was tired. I was super sore from previous run and to be honest I didn’t much like this portion of the run. Okay I’m lying I loved it as much as the other portions but it was the hardest. The highlight of this 7.9 was when my team van had just passed me and I was waiting for them to get out of sight so I could walk. I didn’t want them to see me. I felt bad. I wanted to push through but just didn’t have the stamina. Just as they left my eyesight and I began to slow my stride I see a young boy standing there pointing at me from across the street. I wave and he yells “YOU KEEP RUNNING. YOU DON’T STOP OR WALK. YOU RUN DOWN THE HILL”…I love that boy. I ran the rest of the leg.

(Blue Tutu) The last leg was an amazing 10.9 miles. It started at 4:45 am Saturday morning and all I could think about was how every single step was bringing me closer to being done and being able to cheer on my team without worrying about pounding the pavement again. Ragnar labeled it as very difficult and they didn’t lie. The hills were brutal. The beauty my eyes took in made up for the nastiness of the hills. This was the most emotional part of the race for me. It was hard not to think about where I was just a short 18 months previous and how different my life had become because I decided that who I was no longer okay. There was grieving that Mitch wasn’t there to see this accomplishment and simultaneously there was pure joy in knowing Meegan was waiting for me at the finish line as she had done the previous 2 legs. I had to walk more than I wanted but when I did run, I ran like the wind. I crossed the finish of my last leg and I put on my Ragnar racing shirt and wore it like a champ. An exhausted, sweaty, stinky and sore beyond belief champ…oh and the bread was good!

R is for Relationships

Thanks guys.

It was amazing!