A little over a week ago I took on the idea of changing the Amica half marathon into a full marathon if I could reach a certain amount of donations in my Team in Training fundraising. For three days I lost sleep, I didn’t eat and I gained three pounds due to the stress of actually thinking I could do it. At the end of those three days I realized something important:
This wasn’t fun anymore.
It was stressful. It was negatively impacting how I felt about myself. I was already in November when I should be sitting firmly in August. My Saturday run with Team in Training was plagued with thoughts of “This is only 5 miles..how in the hell are you going to get to 26.2?” Don’t get me wrong, I like the idea of being the distraught fat girl comes back to save the world theory but this is not the time nor the place for me to don my orange body armor and cape with the neon BBee flashing the sky announcing my arrival.
I need this journey to be fun. I need this journey to be slow paced enough for me to learn what works and to examine what doesn’t work. I need this journey to be about pushing boundaries and setting goals that are not only attainable but also achievable in a safe manner. I need to remember that 8 months ago I weighed 263 pounds and couldn’t run a damn block. I need to remember that this is my journey and my negative thoughts that people will be disappointed in me if I didn’t run a full marathon are just that: my thoughts.
I am sticking with the half marathon.
I’ve only been on this journey for 8 months. Why am I trying to hurry to that 26.2 finish line? By the time the Amica comes around I’ll have run 6 races, one triathlon and lost approximately 40% of my body weight. Not bad for a beginner…
Next year will be a good time to aim for a 26.2
This is a good year to aim for 13.1
This is a good year to have fun!
Tara, you have to remember who you’re doing this for. Is it for us? No. It’s for YOU. And if it’s not fun, or causing you stress, it’s not worth it. You’ve accomplished amazing things already this year, and “JUST” doing a Half Marathon is going to be the feather in your cap. Relax and enjoy it, finish that, and then think about a full next year. Maybe target the Rock and Roll – that’s a great race!
RAWR.
I hope i didn’t add to that stress by retweeting your statement…
the thing is this…
I just have that much faith in you.
Even when you decide not to run the full 🙂
Kerrie is right- this is for you, with the icing of raising some money to kick cancer where it ought to be kicked. I’m excited that you’ll be running at the Seattle at any distance, and I insist that we run together as long as we can before they split our routes.
Join the pikermi revolution! There is nothing ‘half’ about 13.1 miles. Love you boo & I’m excited to get my butt kicked up and down the hills tonight!
YESYESYES!!!
You gotta do the best thing for you. A “half marathon” isn’t half of anything anyway – it’s 13.1 miles!
Glad you’re going with your gut on this one. You can take over the world some other day (…which, I am sure… will be in the very near future).
I haev to echo jord and kerrie. this is yours. You have the rest of your healthy life to run a full. Maybe we can run one together!
Yeah, ditto what they all said. If it ceases to be fun; if it starts to be about “what will they think?” – that’s when it’s time to step back, reassess, and GO WITH YOUR GUT. Part of what you’re learning on your LCJ is that YOU CAN TRUST YOURSELF!!! You’ll know when it’s time to tackle the full. In the meantime, kick the pikermi AND cancer in the ass!!
Good call! There are years of racing ahead of you, it’s not like this is your one and only chance to run a full. Plus, bumping up to full training with about 3 months to do it is not a recipe for success. Most full plans are about 18 weeks and frequently start with a base long run of 9 miles and base weekly mileage in the mid-20s, and the assumption is that you’re already very comfortable at that base. If you want to do it someday, you certainly will, I have complete faith, there’s just no reason to do it so quickly, and 3 months in the world of distance is quick!
Damn right, Tara! You gotta do what’s right for you 🙂
Fun! Fun is good. I learned that if it isn’t fun I won’t do it, so I’m sticking with fun at all costs.
I love this post!! To be honest, I think too many of us (distraught fat girls) like to jump on certain fitness bandwagons because we see all the glory and high-fives and “you go girl”s that others are getting and we want that too. And it appears, somehow, that running a race is an easy way to get it, whether it be a 5K or a marathon. But the two are verrrry different. I think a lot of DFGs set themselves up for unintended, unimagined consequences when they decide they should push themselves that hard and intensely. I know a lot of DFGs who think that training for and running a marathon will make them skinny, consciously or unconsciously. That’s in the back of their minds the whole time.
I am not saying that all DFGs do this…but I did and I see others doing it too.
Now, I am all for a challenge, fitness or otherwise. But it’s important to know what will really fill you up. It’s important to know what you *really* want…what fits your personality… Part of my problem is that I didn’t really know what I wanted or what fit my personality. Now that I do, I know that I don’t have to use fitness to get the high-fives and “you go girl”s. For sure, I am exercising and loving my kettlebell workouts, but for me the glory is coming from something totally unrelated to weight loss or fitness. And it’s a beautiful thing.
I think you made the right decision Tara. You shouldn’t have to agonize over something like this and have it keep you up at night. 13.1 miles is a HUGE accomplishment, and you shouldn’t for one second feel like you need to “do better”. I think your plan of doing 13.1 this year, and aiming for 26.2 next year is perfect – and I know that you ROCK both of them! 🙂
This is a GREAT year to shoot for 13.1 and you WILL do it. I’m so proud of how far you’ve come not just physically but mentally and emotionally. Go for it my friend and I’ll be cheering you on next year when you set and meet that goal too. WOOT WOOT!