When I coach people I talk a lot about doing damage control and cultivating the seeds of change. It sounds rather hokey but the concept behind both are very important in my own journey of Life Changes. Damage control means I look around in areas of my life that I would like to change, improve or explore more closely and decide what small “fires” need to be put out in order to really focus on the change, the improvement or the exploration.
Just like a car, I wouldn’t wait until the engine fell out to fix what was wrong. I keep my eye on the mileage, have the oil changed regularly, and try to keep Dusty in the best condition for the situation at hand. For me damage control sometimes comes in the form of changing food foundations, deciding to count or not count calories or taking a few extra days off of from working out to give my muscles a chance to repair. I don’t wait until something is terribly “wrong” in my life. I keep my eye on how I feel emotionally and physically and make the necessary changes to prevent complete “engine failure”.
Cultivating the seed means to plant something then a) take care of it or b) let it wither and die. For too long the way I “cultivated” my emotional well being was to verbally abuse myself. I’d look in the mirror and proclaim my hate for all that was me. I didn’t feed my body the way it deserved to be fed. Not that long ago I would have rather put my hand in a paper bag searching for that last cold french fry at the bottom of the bag than spend time in the kitchen creating foods and when I was in the kitchen the food I was making was good but it wasn’t good for me.
I wasn’t moving.
I wasn’t eating well.
I was choosing option B.
Slowly (and with a lot of patience) I began to choose option A and over the last 3 years I’ve turned my life completely around. Not just in weight loss but in my own mental illness and my understanding of who I am in this world. In the process I’ve also learned that my well being must come above any one else’s well being if I am to be successful in my own journey. You’ll hear me say over and over again “Take care of you, and the rest will fall into place”.
Sometimes taking care of you can feel overwhelming.
The decisions being made can feel big.
And they can feel downright silly.
That’s where I am today. I need to do some damage control in my own life. I need to focus on things that are important to me and let go of things that are taking up too much of my time and leave me feeling less than stellar at the end of the day. It seems silly that I would need to let go of a large aspect of social media but that’s just what I need to do. I hate it right now. I hate the feeling of looking at my phone for long periods of time when what I’m reading isn’t helping me move forward. I hate the notion of feeling jealousy because I’m not an ambassador for this company or that company. I hate feeling like I’m not as good as (insert name here) because I don’t have 10,000 likes on my Facebook page or don’t have as many followers on Twitter. I feel like I’m fishing around to be a part of something else because once again I want to feel important, I want to be included and I want people to take notice of me. Instead of focusing on being a part of something “else” I need to focus on being a part of the “Self”
I need to cultivate the seeds that I’ve planted in feeling good about myself and right now Facebook/Twitter/Social media is not leaving me in a good place. I spend too much time wondering what other people are doing instead of getting my own shit together. I am spending too much time comparing them to me instead of me “then” to me now. I’m spending way too much time thinking “why are they so fucking popular and why is (insert company) sponsoring them” instead of remembering that I’ve lost 115 pounds, I am on my way to becoming an Iron(wo)man and I generally kick ass in all aspects of my life.
Spending time on my phone does not an Iron(wo)man make.
Spending time on Facebook does not an Iron(wo)man make.
Spending time on Twitter does not an Iron(wo)man make.
So I’m taking a little break. The apps are gone off my phone and I’m already working through the angst of not automatically looking at my phone in order to procrastinate just a little longer. You know it can’t be good when you’re angsty over the thought of not having social media apps on your phone. Something has to change because of the two options for cultivating the seeds of change, option A is the really the only option.
I’m not shutting down social media 100%. Just on the phone (which probably makes up about 90% of the total time spent each day mindlessly scrolling through cat pictures, random YouTube links and other people’s plank times). I’m also disabling comments on the blog for the time being because in the end I’ve also allowed the number of comments I do/don’t get affect my emotional well being. I’ll still be around but it’s going to be a minority of my time instead of the majority.
So there ya go. Cutting back on social media so I can refocus on what’s important to me: Working out, eating well, running far and most importantly moving forward on my own Life Changing Journey.