“Just one more bite”
“There’s hardly any food on your plate”
“But this is your favorite”
Yes folks, it’s that time of year again: The time of year where turning away food becomes almost more of a chore and so frustrating that you begin to wonder if you shouldn’t just “blow” whatever movement forward you’ve worked so hard for and eat to your heart’s content. I mean seriously how can you spend the whole day facing family members that could give a rat’s ass about the progress you’ve been making, fighting their incessant pushing of the food, the constant barrage of comments and excuses?…
“It’s only one day a year”
“One piece of pie won’t hurt you”
“You don’t need to lose any (m0re) weight”
How can you resist? Grandma looking so fucking sweet and she’s been up since September preparing the perfect pie, the perfect bowl of mashed potatoes, the perfect golden delicious turkey. How can you fight the temptation when your brother (insert name here) can eat and eat and eat and not gain one friggin pound? How can you tell your mother that under no uncertain circumstances is she to tell you (for the gazillionth time) that there isn’t enough food on your plate or that Aunt Betty-Sue will be disappointed if you don’t try her (insert random vegetable) casserole…
“You can always work out tomorrow”
“It’s Thanksgiving Dear, relax”
I’m one of the lucky one’s this year. I relocated just before the Thanksgiving gluttony marathon festivities take place. Canadian Thanksgiving was in October and while Meegan and I will be celebrating an American Thanksgiving it will be nowhere near the onslaught of food nor the pressure to eat until I have to unbutton my pants and/or force pie into my mouth when all I want to do is fall into a food induced coma.
Some of my friends won’t be so lucky.
A few days ago I got a text from a friend who after making some tremendous steps toward getting the life she deserves to live was starting to panic because Thanksgiving was creeping up and in her own words being around her family “is kind of a toxic environment for a lifestyle change“…
Sound familiar?
Of course it does. Rarely do we start this journey of weight loss with a band of family members behind us slapping us on the back. Giving us the encouragement we need to take the necessary steps to move forward. It’s more common that our family members are trying to figure out subtle ways of sabotaging what progression we’ve made, even if it’s out of love. Whether it’s out of frustration at their own inability to make the life changes or they just don’t understand why you can’t just eat what you want they may not realize how hard this time of year is for those of us that can’t just pile up the food any longer.
The question is how do we prepare ourselves for this inevitable onslaught?
They may pester us to eat more, to try another bite, to put that casserole on our plate but the truth is we aren’t swimming upstream from their food pushing. We’re swimming upstream from our own inner struggle. Who cares if they want us to eat more food? Who cares if they want us to try a slice of the home made pie Gramma made when she got up at three in the morning to begin cooking? Who cares how much gravy is covering the turkey, the mashed potatoes, the stuffing, the green beans and the delicious sweet potatoes with the tiny melted marshmellows? We worry about them pushing the food, when in fact we should be focused on our (in)ability to say no. We can’t point fingers at those people standing around offering us mounds of food, blaming them for another day of over eating to the point of making ourselves uncomfortable and for some of us totally out of control and opening the door to binge eating.
“No thank you“
“I’ve had enough“
“I’m going to pass“
Confession: I have a hard time saying no. When I am alone and making the choices I feel move me in the right direction I am on top of this shit 95% of the time. Get me around people who are not like-minded and that percentage goes pretty much in the toilet. I whisper to myself “I’ll work out longer tomorrow” as I pop more chips in my mouth. “I’ll go for a run later” as I eat another bite of cake (with ice cream – after I”m full). “It’s only one day” as I continue to talk myself into eating more food. What I should be practicing is my ability to say no. I should be practicing my ability to plan, prepare and execute when in a situation that might lead to over eating, choosing lesser nutritional foods over more nutritional and even just mindless snacking because everyone else is doing it. I still panic (though not nearly as much) when I think food is going to run out. I find myself eating foods that make me feel less than stellar because I didn’t plan well enough and what is being offered to me is what I have to work with…
This is the time of year when all of our efforts are truly tested. When our ability to say no is the most important. When our love for ourselves and our desire to get that life we ALL deserve must shine brighter than the tabletop full of food and the gentle nudge from Aunt Gloria to just for the love of all that is pure to try her pea and cashew casserole she found in the latest Good Housekeeping magazine…
Plan. Prepare. Execute.
(how will you?)
Have a wonderful “No Thank You” Thanksgiving.
* Here is a good start to your Plan, Prepare and Execute for Thanksgiving. “11 Nice Ways to Say No to Food Pushers” from SparkPeople
good lord it IS all about the planning preparing REHEARSING IN THE MIRROR and deciding (and planning and rehearsing in the mirror) to say YES to what *you* want (and if that’s pie–GREAT!! But make it a choice and YOUR CHOICE) and no (FIRMLY!) to all else.
From food to experiences.
at least thats the way I roll 🙂
especially with the latter.
This is a great post, because it IS so hard. They make you feel like a prick, but really, it’s them who are being jerks!
Good one. I’m well beyond caring what other people think about my food choices, so my strategy is to decide ahead of time what I will eat, and how much. A little bit of everything doesn’t work for me because little bits of a trigger food spark compulsive overeating just as much as huge servings of the stuff. So I pick and choose. Mashed potatoes? We probably aren’t even making them. Rolls? There’s nothing special about bread, I skip it 100%. Cranberry sauce? My favorite, I’ll probably have 2 helpings. Dessert will be a low-sugar (but not artificially sweetened) pumpkin cheesecake or custard with whipped cream and I won’t feel guilty about it. My goal is to make every single food choice every day of the year a mindful one. Why would I throw that out the window on Thanksgiving? It works for me all year long, it will work for me on Thursday too.
Happy almost Thanksgiving to the one I love. I’m so proud of you for this post. I know the thought and effort you put into helping your friend with your amazing advice, and into this post. You are my inspiration, and I know with what you write you are inspiring others. Tomorrow we’ll have our own version of American Thanksgiving in our Canadian home together, and I know it will be both healthy and delicious. xo
This is terriffic. I love line about Grandma being up since September! Way to pile on the guilt! My family now expects me NOT to over do it (so they will give me sideways glances as I scoop ice cream on my pie!) but I’ve been through this and your advice is great.