Sometimes you’re afraid to talk out loud about something.
I mean I’ve talked with Meegan about it and made mention to it a few times on the social networking universe but even just putting it on the blog is making my stomach turn and my head all woozy…
To know me is to know that I have a need to push myself physically. Having spent the majority of my life never active and allowing my body to grow into morbid obesity and essentially killing myself slowly with food and depression, I now am constantly pushing the boundaries on what I think I can do and checking things off that “holy shit can you believe I just ran (mile, 5k, 10k, 1/2 marathon, 187 mile relay race as a 6 runner ultra team, marathon)” list. When I was still in Tacoma, triathlons had become my new love. Never (and I seriously mean never) did I dream that out of the ashes of shedding the 110+ pounds I would want to push this body (that I had no idea I could push) into a new fire…
Swim.
Bike.
Run.
Now that I’ve been in Halifax for a while, I’ve begun to make some really awesome friends. Friends who also push themselves into things I’m still trying to wrap my brain around. Take my friend Leanne for instance. I met her shortly after joining the Heart and Sole running club in my area.
Besides being an awesome runner and cute as a button she’s also a triathlete…
an Iron(wo)man triathlete.
2.4 mile swim.
112 mile bike ride.
26.2 mile run.
140.6 (freaking!) miles
Not too long ago we were both at a poster making party for the upcoming EpicDartmouth and we got to talking about triathlons and it was there I found out she was an iron(wo)man. I was floored. Also sitting with us was my friend Erin who had just completed her first half iron(wo)man and I was (and am) in awe of both of them.
I got to listen to them talk about their experiences all the while feeling like a little kid sitting at the adults table during Thanksgiving. I chimed in that I had done a sprint and olympic and now that my bike was with me I was hoping to check out the triathlon circuit out here…
I felt kind of silly.
I am nothing special. I look at so many other “athletes” and think “man I just want to be like them”. I forget to acknowledge that what I’ve been able to accomplish in such a short time makes me “one of them”. When you’ve been obese for so long, you’re used to hiding in the shadows and not bringing attention to yourself. You’re used to failing and getting to the point of not trying. You’re used to saying “yes but look at (insert name here)” when someone tries to give you the much deserved accolades for what you have accomplished.
I felt like when I mentioned that I had some triathlons under my belt, they were going to look at me and scoff. I thought they were going to chuckle at my little attempt to “play with the big boys”. They didn’t. They talked about bikes and swimming and whatever else you talk about when it comes to triathlons and I continued to look at them both all starry eyed.
A few days after there was a “Thank you for volunteering” party and just on a whim (because we don’t usually go to things like this) Meegan and I both went. So did Leanne. At some point I get her attention and wave and she motioned me to come over…
“So I’ve been thinking about our conversation”
(What conversation?)
“About triathlons”
(uh-huh)
“I want to train you for your first half Ironman”
SHUT THE FUCKING FRONT DOOR!
Just writing this brings tears to my eyes. This previously morbidly obese, depressed and going nowhere (literally and figuratively) body that has proven over and over again that not only can I but I must in order to motivate and encourage other people to do the same had just been invited to the Big Boys league…and of course by big boys league I mean “are you shitting me you really think I could do this” league.
The only thing I could do at the moment that she said I want to train you was drop my jaw and squeeze her really hard. Funny too because now that we’ve (and by we I mean me) gotten over the shock of “can I really?” she told me she was honored that I had said yes so enthusiastically. We’ve had a few subsequent conversations to talk about what it’s like to do IronMans and what the training will look like for next year. She’s getting ready to compete in her 2nd full IronMan in just a few weeks and as we talked about it she looked me dead in the eye and with full confident said “you could do full IronMan Tara”…
For now I’m staying focused on the Marathons and shooting for Marathon Maniac status (if I can get everything figured out) this year and then we will sit down and begin training for something that scares the absolute crap out of me…
70.3
Push those boundaries. Get off that elliptical you’ve been on for months on end while secretly looking at the boxing class happening at the same time. Stop thinking you’ll never be able to complete a 5k race and register. Get out of that comfort zone and prove to yourself that you can instead of thinking you can’t. Someone needs to see you go big so that they too can allow that glimmer of hope that maybe in fact that if you can…
So can they.
I do what I do for my health. I do what I do because I want my body to thank me for making it strong. I do what I do because I spent so long not doing. But I also do what I do because the more I push those boundaries, the more I show the world that you don’t have to settle for obesity, the farther I go, the farther you might go too. Every time someone clicks on my blog and looks over the progress pictures or reads about me taking on a new physical challenge, it’s another opportunity for that someone to imagine (even if for a few seconds) that they too can do what I’ve done (and continue to do). I didn’t wake up one day and lose 110+ pounds. I read blogs of people that continued to push themselves out of their comfort zone, that continued to prove to themselves over and over again that they could, that they will and that they succeeded. I read about people losing a lot of weight and I thought “hmmmm”. I read about people running and thought “hmmmm”. I read about people lifting weights and thought “hmmmmmm”. I read about people doing triathlons and thought “hmmmm”. Then I set out to be one of those people that blogged about doing all of those things and kicking ass while doing it.
What are you setting out to do.
GO BIG.
(never settle for going home)
Leanne is right. You can do a full Ironman. And you will.
You’re just checking one challenge off the list after another. You may surprise yourself each time, but you aren’t surprising me. I know you have this in you. I see it in your drive and your passion as an athlete. It brings all the life in your eyes when you talk about it. You pick something that scares you, you put it out there and then BAM – it walks right up to you, sometimes in the form of Leanne & Erin at a poster party…
I can’t wait to be at that finish line screaming your name too.
#lawn
OF COURSE you can do an IronMan! Everyone who reads your blog agrees with me. 🙂
You have to want it, and go after it, and that’s all there is to you. OF COURSE you can do it! And you will!
Tara you flatter me. It was so amazing to read what you said about me. I so look forward to our training.
And Meegan knows a right person when she sees it. Hopefully she will scream my name too.
Leanne
Awesome! My (not so) secret goal is to do a half ironman someday. You can do it!
I’m so excited for you! And not at all surprised. Seems like we all know you can do it, and now you are going to find out what that feels like with your next “bucket list” item. How can you doubt yourself after all you’ve accomplished?? (Of course that’s a rhetorical question, I wonder if doubt ever goes away, but you know what I mean!)
Woohoo! Push your boundaries! You can do it and the great thing is, you have everyone backing you and supporting you. We believe in you and your dreams and want you to “chase” after them. All 70.3 miles! 🙂
You can totally do it!
Looking forward to reading about your triathlon journey! I know you’re going to succeed, love it, and kick ass while doing so.
Also, I want to say thank you for sharing your journey here. After a long time of not really believing it, I’ve finally decided that I can do what you have done. I lost a good friend late this spring and early this summer, I’ve decided to start taking care of myself because I deserve nothing less. I’ve gone to the doctor, started physical therapy to fix a problem with my knee (and discovered along the way that my body RESPONDS when I get it moving in the ways it needs to move — what a powerful feeling!). I’m eating better, and less, and I’m moving more. And I really, really appreciate your honesty, your encouragement, and your paving the way on your blog. I’m 5 lbs down and way, way up in terms of my attitude. Thanks, Tara.
I will be at the finish line cheering on both you and Leanne. In some strange way we are all in this together. Trust me,you now have many, many supporters here in Halifax. You make us all proud that you chose our city, and one of our own.
You have no idea how your blog has inspired, enlightened and informed.
Rock on. You and Meegan deserve all that is good.
Joanne
You can so do this … It’s hard and it takes a lot of time getting the bricks in but it feels amazing to do it. We’ve been in similar WoW and obese shoes … I know you can own this and do a spectacular job. I can’t wait to read about your training and go cheer you on. I know I to am getting itchy feet to do another HIM (Half Ironman) or full next year. This shrunken baby event schedule this year has been hard having the Tri itch.
I’m SO excited for you! Can’t wait to high five at Fitbloggin 🙂
Well Open the front door! To change your expression. I have only known you (via FF and online) as a fit runner personage so cannot picture the formerly obese person. I see simply one strong door opener! http://funandfit.org/2012/07/the-klout-workout-perks-circuits/
We just did our first 70.3 last Sunday. It was life altering. I too was morbidly obese and lost over 100 pounds. Guess what? You can do this. So go do it. 🙂
Woo Hooo!!! I am so excited for you!!!! I know that you can do it, and it is going to be amazing! 🙂
You. Are. Amazing.
You are one of the people that I look up to, all starry-eyed. You are one of my inspirations to keep trying to lose this 30# and try another marathon. You are one of my inspirations to try a sprint triathlon next year, if I can learn to swim.
I’ve been really struggling these last couple of weeks, with a training plan I’ve dramatically scaled back, thanks to a flare-up of fibromyalgia symptoms that work on their timetable, not my own. But when I can manage to find my way to the bike or to my running shoes, you’re one of the people I think of when I need a boost to get the workout done.
Thank you for continuing to post about your big, hairy, audacious goals (BHAGs), as Good to Great author Jim Collins calls them… your posts mean a lot to so many people.
Your post made me smile. Of COURSE you can do it. I know that it seems a cliche but while it’s tempting to compare yourself to others it is not about them. It seems that since so many people are at this race that you are beating all of them. But in reality it is a bunch of people working to breakthrough and set their PR’s. The person you are competing against is yourself and there is no stiffer competition then you. 🙂
[…] been taken and have shied away from some bigger challenges. I was reminded of this when I read Putting it out there… over on Tara’s blog, A Life Changing Journey. Two things struck me in this post. The first […]
Very inspiring journey you are on, especially seeing the pictures of the progress you have made. Wow! Also love your who you were, who you are part of your About Me post. I imagine you sometimes stand amazed in the mirror, knowing that the reflection looking back at you isn’t just physically different but is also mentally/emotionally/spiritually different as well. Congratulations and thanks for your inspiration. I found your site through another friend, Tim, who I’ve recently met as I’ve been on my own journey this year. What struck me about this post was your opening comment “Sometimes you’re afraid to talk out loud about something” because I often feel the same way. In fact I started on my weight loss/get fit journey without making any fanfare about it at all. My wife and I knew and we were both doing it together and I only ever talked about it when people started noticing a change. I did months and months of laying the foundation before I ever blogged about it. I chose to do that because for once in my life I wanted to stop “talking” about something and actually “do it”. And now that I’ve had success I feel more confident about putting goals out there, knowing I have a good foundation upon which to build and knowing I have a support system to hold me accountable and help me reach those goals.
Keep doing what you are doing!
I don’t know you but just by reading your blog — I’d say a 70.3 is no problem. Have fun with the training! I’ve done 2 of them – and am signed up for a third – love love them!
[…] to get from point A (Halifax NS) to point B (Portland OR) but a few things are getting in the way: Earning my first ever 70.3 and that pesky problem of still not being able to work in Canada as I ever so patiently wait for […]