S
ome things never change.
The other day I was at Wal-Mart doing some shopping. I know I know, I shouldn’t give into the big conglomerate companies but being in a new country, unfamiliar with my surroundings still and in need of a some boots for my newly acquired nephew-in-law (we got him Transformer snow boots), I went where it was familiar (and cheap – remember I’m not working at the moment).
Every where I go I am constantly looking for ideas for future blog posts. Whether it’s a advertisement I see or a conversation I over hear, my mind is always alert to when something around me affects my Life Changing Journey. It doesn’t matter if it’s something that makes me feel strong about the movement forward or if it’s something that really pisses me off: if it affects me and my choices I can guarantee it affects your choices as well.
As I was walking towards the check out stand (after being bombarded with all the holiday chocolate available for my consumption) I hear a small child crying. I mean really crying. Like he might be in pain kind of crying. I turn towards the commotion to make sure everything is okay and what I see/hear, while it may not seem outrageous, has really laid heavy on my mind this week.
An obese mom.
A crying child in a cart.
A diet soda.
His arms were stretched out toward her, not because he needed a hug or a kiss or a playful tussle of the hair. He wanted that damn diet soda. As they came closer to me I could hear the mother repeat over and over again “No, you can’t have any diet soda”. The more she said it the more he cried. The louder he cried the more angrier she became….
Okay I’m going to rant here for a bit so if you’re so inclined to think that she was somehow in the right I suggest you stop reading here and go about your business because right now I’m fucking pissed.
Dear Wal-Mart mother. I know you’ll probably never read this. I could tell by the items in your cart you have no intention of making healthy choices for yourself right now. Maybe later when your body hurts from the extra weight it’s had to carry around you’ll make better choices. Maybe when your doctor tells you that you show the first signs of heart disease you’ll make better choices. You’re an adult you have every right to make whatever choices you want when putting food in your mouth. However the fact that your small toddler could discern that what you were drinking was a diet soda and he was crying like he was in pain makes me want to seriously ram my cart into the back of your legs.
Don’t yell at him.
It’s your fault he’s crying. It’s your fault he’s addicted to the chemically filled sweet liquid that while you think is healthier because it’s calorie free, is already doing damage to his body. You don’t want him to cry because you have a diet soda and he doesn’t? PUT THE FUCKING SODA DOWN! I used to be obese so I know what it’s like to be addicted to this shit. I know what it’s like to be under the control of the food industry. I know what it’s like to have $5.00 in my pocket and opt for the easy way out and head to the closest McDonald’s and order it super size. I know what it’s like to shop in places like Wal-Mart where food is cheap and comes in large quantities. I know what it’s like to tell yourself “tomorrow, tomorrow I’ll make better choices” and then tomorrow comes and some things never change
He doesn’t.
What he sees is what he does. He likes (addicted too) the taste of that diet soda in your hand. He also likes (addicted to) those chips in your cart. I’d bet you $20 he also likes (addicted to) the boxes of sugar coated cereal laying under big bag of Hershey’s kisses wrapped in the shiny green and red foil. Now you’re mad at him for crying and making your life a little harder and a little more frustrating at the moment. Would he also cry that way if you had a bottle of water in your hand? How will you stop him from being upset? Will you take him through a drive through and stuff his little mouth with enough sodium for a grown man (for a week) in the form of fries that come in a happy meal?
In that moment I was felt so bad for this kid. I felt anger towards the mother who probably doesn’t realize the path her son is already on. The path she has probably traveled her entire life. It made me wonder what kind of message I give off to those around me. It doesn’t matter if you’re a mom, a dad, a sibling, a relative, a friend, a co-worker or even just an acquaintance. What we see is what we do. When I am in a situation and everything around me is screaming make unhealthy choices: I make the same choices. It’s why I constantly strive to surround myself with people fighting to save their lives. When I see people struggling to gain control of their lives I fight harder to make the right choices in case they are watching…
What we see is what we do.
What are you doing?
Some things never change but it doesn’t always have to be that way. Everything can change if you want it too. The choices you make today not only affect you but those around you and even people you may not realize who are paying attention. What kind of messages are you sending? What kind of messages are you receiving? Whatever you think you’re saying, doing or showing: People (and that little crying boy in the shopping cart at Wal-Mart) hear you loud and clear!
And as we walked by the screaming kid and that mom repeated, no you can’t have any, that’s exactly why my first words to you were “and you shouldn’t either”. It’s hard not to judge when we’ve come through to the other side of those decisions and understand the difference so completely. I hope that mom and other’s like her have their moment of change and for that kiddo’s sake I hope it comes sooner rather than later. xo
Oh Tara, I’m so glad you posted this.
Reading honestly brought tears to my eyes. As an obese woman, an obese mother, an obese mother of a 1.5 yr old, I can relate so much. Thankfully I started my own LCJ before my daughter was born. I took my pregnancy as a time to re-devote myself to setting a healthy example, as best as I could. I’m not saying I’m perfect – but I’m proud to say that those poisons (diet soda, candy, chips) have no place in my daughter’s diet. Do they sneak into mine sometimes? Sadly, yes. I know that this needs to change, not only for myself, but to show my daughter how beautiful a healthy life can be.
I’ve seen this same scene you’ve described time and time again. Babies (under 2!) drinking soda from sippy cups, snacking on Cheetos, shoveling chocolate into their tiny mouths. They don’t know better … but we do. We owe it to them, and to ourselves. Thank you for the reminder.
xoxo – Emily
Awesome, awesome post, Tara. I think you captured the moment perfectly – I can picture it in my mind as I sit a my desk typing this (water bottle close by.)
I feel for that little crying boy and I fear for his future, and I am sorry for the things that he will be inevitably influenced by. I can’t help but feel badly for that mother, too, albeit I’m mad at her more than I’m sad for her. It pulls at my heart strings to hear of individuals who so desperately NEED a change (a healthy change, a potentially life-saving change) in their life but who go about tossing Froot Loops and Orange Soda and Double-Stuffed Oreos in their shopping carts. Was she once that crying little child reaching out for a god damn sip of diet soda? It’s a dangerous cycle. A dangerous, sad, depressing, unhealthy fucking cycle.
Here’s to you and me and everyone else breaking the cycle. Keep being a rockstar.
lordy I agree
all we can do in life is BREAK THAT FRICKIN CYCLE.
So well written.
I often find myself policing the shopping carts of others in the grocery store and many times I’ve wanted to scream when I see the poor choices – sugar laden snacks, “foods” with zero nutritional value and salt saturated choices. It is truly heart breaking when there’s also a child in that cart. I’m immediately saddened that the child is not getting a balanced diet and that the parent has such little knowledge of healthy eating habits (and the inevitable side effects of years of this way of eating for them both).
I’ve shared this post with others in the hopes some parents will see themselves and be motivated to make changes.
Oh sister I hear you…and I’ve seen that very same scenario play out time and time again (although not in Walmart…I’ve never been in one, believe or not). I used to be disgusted and disdainful (like mother…rolling her eyes at the “stupid fat people”). Now I summon up as much love as I can and just send it out in hopes that the people who need it catch the vibe in some way another. So all we can do is be the change…be the bright shining change, baby!
[…] right, Tara over at A Life Changing Journey was telling of a recent experience she had at Walmart. Go ahead and go over and read it, it’s fairly short and the story is pertinent to […]