Have you ever wanted to sit down at your laptop and blog for hours and hours on end?
Thoughts come and go in such a fury. Like little twinges of electricity pinging to and fro inside that skull of yours, you just want to grab the sides of your head and squeeze for some peace and quiet? You wish you could just look at your computer screen and all those thoughts would magically vomit themselves into some cohesive blog post because you know your fingers can’t keep up with everything you want to say?
This happens to me all the time. If I could make money off of every word I truly wanted to write I’d be a millionaire in no time. And yet when I sit down, I find it difficult to grasp one idea and focus.
This blog post has no direction. It just has words. May they be cohesive and in order but if not, I say a big old “who gives a flying fuck cause I need to empty out this noggin of mine”.
It’s no secret I’m a part of a larger group of fitness bloggers out there known as Fitfluential. Who knows how many people are involved now (tens of thousands I suppose). When it was first being launched I felt a lot of jealousy over who was being asked to join. The big players (but people I was truly inspired by) were joining forces to talk about something I hold very close to my heart: Living a Healthy Lifestyle. Months went by and that jealousy grew. I wanted to play with the big kids. I mean I was sort of my own big kid on the playground (no matter how small my playground may be). I proverbially jumped around in that “pick me, pick me” sort of way and one day it happened.
Mimi and I were asked to join.
Like that little kid waiting to be picked for the dodge ball team; it didn’t matter to me if I got picked last. The fact that I got picked at all was awesome. Finally I was with the big kids. The story of Mimi and I losing almost 250 pounds collectively, falling in love and forging A Life Changing path for others to follow was amongst the masses that is Fitfluential.
Can I tell you a secret?
I don’t like it as much as I thought I would. Here’s the deal: It’s like I’m in the middle of an even bigger dodge ball game and there is only one captain. Thousands of potential kick ass dodge ball players all waiting around for that someone to tell them “okay kids, now we’re all going to totally LOVE this product right?” and every single of of us nodding our heads in agreement without even knowing what we’re agreeing too (knowing full well if we don’t we’re not getting picked).
I am an individual.
I see over and over again people losing the “self” in the process of trying to be with the “popular” kid. Blindly endorsing whatever is being thrown at them and not asking the questions that need to be asked. I understand the desire reap the benefits of what I’ve worked so hard to achieve. I would be lying if I said I didn’t care about my story reaching the masses. I want people to recognize me. I want magazines and news channels to share my story. I want the fitness industry to think about me when it comes to sharing their product via sponsorship, ambassadorship, or say “hey Tara, want to review our product”…
But I also cherish my integrity.
I cherish my thought process.
I cherish my commitment to the self.
So why don’t I just leave? In the beginning I was jealous of those that were being invited and now I find myself jealous of those that are leaving on their own accord. But I can’t bring myself to write that letter of “thanks but no thanks”. I don’t agree with the message that is Fitfluential any longer. Yes, there are individuals within the concept that I still adore and admire beyond comprehension. But in all honesty I adore them because they are unapologetically themselves and Fitfluential needs them more than they need Fitfluential.
Still I can’t leave.
I’m still that kid waiting to be picked for the dodge ball game (but really looking at the monkey bars). I’m still that kid wanting the recognition of the captain (but really wishing a few of us would just start our own game). Maybe this post is a passive aggressive wish that instead of me saying “Thanks but no thanks”, they in fact would say “Thanks but no thanks”…It’s like not wanting to break up with someone because you’re afraid of being alone but you secretly wish they would break up with you because being alone is better than the current situation.
Why am I talking about this now?
The big “thing” right now is all this talk of Diet To Go (and I hated adding this as a link because I DON’T ENDORSE THIS ONE BIT). In an attempt to drum up business they’ve “partnered” with Fitfluential and it is all the rage amongst the “pick me pick me” group of players. Touting it as healthy and easy and so delicious…
Just search the hashtag #diettogo / #mydiettogo to see for yourself.
I’ll wait.
It is no surprise that 99% of the “Oh Wow, this food is so delicious” and “look at my pretty picture of my tasty meal” (in this convenient plastic container) tweets are coming from (pick me pick me) those desperate dodge ball players. I try not to be angry over this campaign because I understand the need to jump through the hoops to be noticed and I’ve been involved in some really awesome campaigns myself with whole30 and UnderArmour but this campaign has me boiling over.
Just to add spit to the fire I decided to really check out the website to see if maybe I was missing something. The pictures being posted looked anything but delicious. The “contains soy” in a chicken dinner left a bad taste in my mouth as people proclaim the food healthy. The “I just ate dinner and it was only 200 calories” makes me cringe at how we are influencing the people desperately trying to make choices that lead them in the direction in which they so desire…
But I wanted to make sure I gave this campaign a fair peruse.
I filled out the information on the “how it works page”
- Height – 5′ 8″
- Age – 43
- Weight – 158
- Goal Weight – 160 (take note that I’m indicating I want to actually gain a few pounds)
- Activity Level – Very Active (6 – 7 times/week)
Is this a joke?
“Congratulations on taking the first step to reaching a healthy BMI”…I already am at a healthy BMI and I indicated that I am actually trying to maintain/gain. It clearly states that my “Daily Energy Expenditure” is 2500 (to maintain my weight with my activity level) and yet the company (that many people are turning too for weight loss advice) is advising that I eat 1200 calories (not net calories mind you) but in total…
As a weight loss story already made and always being told to anyone that looks to me for advice I have a responsibility. As part of a bigger group of fitness bloggers we, as a whole, have a responsibility. I understand the idea of getting compensated for a campaign. That’s what Fitfluential is there for; helping businesses profit but let’s be honest about the product being offered instead of just nodding our heads and trying to please the captain…
1200 calories is NOT appropriate. Thankfully I know this. One of the most important things about this journey of Life Changes is educating myself. The more I know, the more I am in control. The more I am in control, the more I am successful. I also understand the need for convenience. Mimi and I shop at Costco to buy meats/veggies/fruits/toilet paper in gross quantities because we have to sustain ourselves on one income. But you won’t find a box or packaged meal in our carts because while we need the convenience we believe in eating real foods (even if they come in a gross quantity).
The point of this blog post is to just put out there, that large masses of people moving in a particular direction doesn’t mean it’s the appropriate direction. This particular website is encouraging extreme “Calorie Restriction” not “Calorie Deficiency”. I don’t believe in calorie restriction at all and in fact part of my coaching/advising/sharing is to eat to fuel your body appropriately. For many people just starting out on their Own Life Changing Journey they’re going to follow the masses instead of slowing down and paying attention to what their bodies want ( real food). They’re going to pull out their wallets and buy into this notion that it’s better to buy pre-packaged meals full of frankenfood instead of trusting that they deserve to create truly mindful / healthful meals in their own kitchen.
I want to leave you with one last idea. Earlier today I was tagged in a Facebook status from my friend Karen Anderson with a link to the video below. Take a few minutes (it’s about 10 minutes in length) to really watch it. Pay close attention to how she describes her students and the process by which their relationship with the food cultivated. Our Life Changing Journeys happen in almost the exact same way. It starts chaotically trying to be every where at once and then slowly but surely when you are present everything around you changes…
Life Changes.
Update: A few hours after writing this post I had a long talk with Mimi and we have both respectfully resigned from Fitfluential. We appreciate the support shown from this post (as with every post).
Just have to say, I get it. I’ve been feeling the same way.
Bravo bravo! Thanks for going against the herd & saying things so many others are thinking. Can’t wait to watch the video when I get home & hop on the bike 😉
I know we talked a bit about this on twitter (@rockthedogs) but this post was fantastic. I love it, and it is everything I would want to say.
I knew there was a reason I stopped trying to be one of those (pick me pick me) and dropped out of the group all together.
Keep it up – YOU are the positive role model that this company should be endorsing.
Wow, thank you for writing such an honest post. I’m fairly new to the blog world and had been wondering what fitfluential and more recently the diettogo programs are about. I also went to the website to see what was recommended for me and found the same 1200 calorie meal recommendation (maybe this is really the only option?) To me it seems like another fad diet that only works when you’re on it and then you gain all the weight back. In addition, it’s been shown that this kind of drastic calorie reduction doesn’t even work. I would have trouble having respect for a group that does promote this because products like this are not what healthy living are about
Could not agre more. Entered my data, for fun – put goal weight the same as current weight. Despite saying that I need 2179 calories to “maintain my weight”, the recommendation is to try their 1200 calories/day diet, when in reality, I need about twice the calories/day to keep going with all the physical activity I do!
Balance tasty real food diet (as in what you eat, not weight loss program) is always the key! 🙂
Thanks for posting.
I love that you are so honest and are keeping true to you. And I love this video. Speaks volumes and I will use it and share it. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Truly an inspiration.
Wow I’m really (not) surprised by the diet to go thing. Do they only provide a 1200 calorie meal plan or something? Hm.
I just choose to ignore any campaigns that I don’t agree with. I can’t stop others from going that route! I can see how you would be concerned though that this is a start of a downward spiral for the group as a whole. Maybe give it time?
~Ang
I pick you! Not because you are one of the “popular masses” but because of your brutal honesty in all things. Thank you for keeping it that way!
I have been moving back to whole foods. I’m not always successfull, but I’m trying. Bravo to you for keeping to your own path. Thank you also (to Karen as well) for posting this video. My mind is so calm right now just from listening to her story and watching her slowly, mindfully, dice the onion.
Wanted to add my two cents in as someone who participated in this campaign. I personally loved the plan that I did, so much so that I’ve subscribed to it. As someone who is a recovering binger and a really awful time of cooking, I loved having prepared meals that I could grab in a rush. Is it as good as preparing my own locally sourced meals? Hell no. But at a time when I need some extra structure, I do really find value in it. And I do add in extra veggies and other food I cook so I can up my calories (I did the low carb plan).
I totally understand where you’re coming from. You should do and voice exactly what your heart desires and no one should be able to sway your opinion. I’ve always valued your honesty and integrity. Majorly.
I don’t want to be labeled as one of those “desperate dodge ball players” because I’m not. We all have to find what works for us, and this one personally fit something that I need at this point in time. Now, do I think it’s bullshit their software recommended the 1200 calorie plan to you? YES. You will never hear me argue about that as someone who has suffered metabolic damage from severe food restriction (personally don’t think a 455 pound person should ever be on 1200 calories – way too litte). The whole calories in/out thing doesn’t compute for me. Doubt it ever will.
Anyway, I feel like I’m rambling, but I have mad respect for you for sticking to what you believe in. Just wanted to throw in my 2 cents.
Emmie, I don’t know if you’re going to see this. It’s pretty rare these days that I respond to people’s comments as I try to keep up with all the other “stuff” around here but I wanted you to know that I too respect the hell out of you and don’t for a second consider you one of the “dodge ball players”.
I totally get it if it works for you. You know enough about yourself to know this is a tool in a large tool box you’ve been using on this journey of yours. The fact that you supplement with other foods to “boost” the meals you are eating from this company, tells me you know what you’re doing and you’re doing it as mindful as possible.
If you ever want a few lessons in the kitchen I’m here to help. Skype is an amazing way to bring people together to share knowledge.
xoxo
Tara
Thank you for responding Tara – you didn’t have to. I do know the type of behavior that you’re talking about, and am glad that I’m not considered a cohort in that.
Perhaps I should rephrase – I CAN (and do) cook, I just dislike it :p Thank you for your Skype offer though. There’s always more to learn! xoxo
Huh…I really love your thought process and I went through a similar one a while back. I looked at Fitfluential and considered filling out the form, but in the end decided it wasn’t for me. And If I am honest, I also admit that I was afraid I wouldn’t be accepted. AND I didn’t want to have to jump through hoops. I don’t do well in groups like that and it has taken me a looooong time to come to similar conclusions: I don’t like who I am and how I feel when I am competing for attention from the cool kids (and/or from mother figures…but that’s a whole ‘nother story). I figure I serve myself best (and hopefully others) when I do my own thing, whether it’s popular or not. I know my ideas are not for everyone, nor should they be. Like I said earlier in response to your comment on FB, just keep being who you are and, because who you are rocks…and that’s more powerful than any sort of endorsement from the cool kids.
THANK YOU a million times over for writing this. I’ve wanted to be a part of Fitfluential for awhile now, but lately the product they’ve been endorsing have been rubbing me the wrong way. The “I ate 200 calories for dinner” posts make me nervous. I see so many blogs out there today that are preaching borderline disordered eating type of thinking patterns/goals. It makes me nervous for all the people who are finding these sites. All the vulnerable minds out there that don’t know any better. They see the Fitfluential sticker and the dozens of comments and thing .. YES – they’ve got it right!
Thank you for being someone who will stand up, no matter what.
What a great post! I’ve been blogging myself lately, jealous of all the FitFluential people who have huge followings. Your dodge ball analogy hit home to me. It’s about ME, not them.
Thanks for speaking up!
So many things about this hit home for me! I know we are just getting to know each other but in 2009 when I first started blogging the whirlwind of free items for review and such took over my whole entire point. It was nice getting a free cruise, total gym, juice blah blah blah but it all came with a cost. Stepping away taught me more than I could have ever imagined. To me personally my entire point of sharing my story is to hopefully connect with others and be there for them to do the same. None and I mean none of the other shit matters when it comes down to it in my book. Before I even wrote my first “back in the game” post a couple weeks ago I whole heartedly knew that is where I am coming from and where I will stay.
You are amazing to recognize and do this in the position you are in. People are drawn to your story but it takes heart, honesty and compassion to have them believe you. From where I stand the biggest dodge ball players are the ones that stand up for what they believe and lead by example. Good for you!
Wow, this post came at the right time for me. I’m still getting my feet wet out in the blog world (how naive am I, I’m excited at 120 followers on Twitter). However, I’ve noticed all those “clubs” like FitFluential and SweatPink. I’ve also started wondering if anyone would ever notice my blog in the land of so many. I’m still really really little Nemo fish in the big bad Ocean that is Healthy Living Blogging.
I couldn’t live on 1200 calories. Now, in all honesty, I am on WW. My Choice. I’ve tried Sparkpeople and other things like that. My own person needs the accountability of going somehwere once a week and weighing in. Me owning a scale, not a good combe (read: obsessive compulsive).
As much as I want to make a name for myself one day in the blog world, I know my voice is my own and….I hope I’m as strong as you are with your voice one day!!!
SMOOCHIES and LOVE
Nic
I stopped following a lot of fitness/weight loss bloggers because I got the impression that all they were interested in was inflating their page view counts or their number of twitter followers. This is the first that I’ve heard of Diet to Go but doubt that would ever give it any serious consideration. Ever heard of Juice Plus? There are a few people at my gym trying to sell it… it gets old telling them that I’m not interested.
Your tenacity and brutal honest continue to inspire me. WTG for speaking your truth. You freaking rule.
Wow, I never thought you had to be *asked* to join that “organization”. I thought it was just any other hashtag on twitter.
Bravo to you for having morals that you stand behind. Sadly too many people blindly follow the group, no matter what cliff they are leading them over. I’ve read alot of not great things about FitFluential and there methods.
Sadly, those just starting out will see the power and quantity of people following/involved with them and also assume everything associated with them is golden. And those people will walk away hurt or frustrated and give up again.
I love reading about strong people that aren’t afraid to walk their talk 🙂
Hi Tara,
Long time reader, first time commenter. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your honest opinion about this promotional campaign and about Fitfluential generally. Your credibility as a blogger, health advocate and all around amazing person has never been questioned, and thanks to honest posts like this, it never will be. You’re more influential as a health and well-being advocate when you’re genuine and committed to the cause than any person who spouts out a paid opinion in return for some free swag. This is the first less-than-positive Fitfluential product review I’ve read (and I read a lot of blogs associated with Fitfluential) and I’ve gotten to the point where I skip past product reviews completely because I can absolutely predict what they’ll say: “I loved this product!!! Here’s one for a reader!!! Oh, PS I was compensated for this, but of course, my opinion is my own.”
Anyway, my point is, thanks for being stayiing honest, even if it means not getting to play dodgeball with the cool kids. The other kids on the playground are watching, and who knows, maybe you’ll be the captain of the kids who didnt get picked to play!
Hi Tara,
I applaud you for your honesty, your integrity, and your very considered words.
This is the reason why I have read your blog for years – thank you for backing the words up with action too.
Hugs,
Donna
I’m with you 100%. I’m by no means a perfect eater, but there are some products that are promoted or given away that I feel should never have been promoted or given away in the first place. And just like there are fad diets, I believe that there are fad groups.
I don’t think I’ve ever been one for fads.
Thank you for being honest and thank you for being true to you.
Tara,
I tried and wanted for so long to be a part of fitfluential. But after seeing some of the products and the clamoring to be the one picked for each campaign I knew it was not something I wanted and stopped trying.
I’m so proud of you for sticking up for what you believe in.
I found your blog through Emily – she linked to this post.
And I just have to say, thank you so much for it.
As someone who wants to belong, who wants to feel good enough and important enough and cool enough to ask to be “included”, this was very refreshing (especially hearing about your thoughts as an “insider”).
I don’t ever want to compromise my authenticity and become commercial, or a brand. I want to be me, blogging because it’s an outlet, something I enjoy. Not because someone is telling me to.
Refreshing read, thank you for making me feel included in the group that doesn’t want to conform! 🙂
Not much more to add but i might take you up on the offer for SKYPE cooking lessons…
You are friggin’ awesome. I, too, have felt that Fitfluential is becoming more about the products, and less about the health, just based on Twitter alone. I can’t get over that they are recommending 1200 cals for a person who is a healthy weight.
Good for you and Mimi for resigning!
My previous comment didn’t post, but I just wanted to say you are awesome for standing up for what you believe in.
BTW, I have the same BMI as you and I’m in the best shape of my life, training for my first ultramarathon. Diettogo also says I should be on a 1200 calorie plan! No thanks.
Great post. I’ve struggled with whether or not I wanted to be part of that as well. I couldn’t for a while since I was living in NZ, but when the chance opened up I am considering it. I think promoting every product and trying to be a part of EVERYTHING makes your opinion as a blogger and a person less important. But when you find the things that do work? When you really promote what you love? You are influential. Your voice does matter as an advocate and brand ambassador.
Just some thoughts.
As far as the Diet To Go stuff, I’ve seen it and I’m not impressed. I don’t do those kinds of meals as I’ve recently moved more toward whole foods/less processed foods. It’s going well so far. I’m not a fan of the franken foods, and it’s good to see others take a stand and not accept that they are necessary to have a healthy lifestyle. On the other hand, people like Emmie find that they work. So what works for her might not work for me and you. Different strokes.
Lots of rambling here. Ha. 😉